In what will become a weekly edition to TheWavierWire, Mike Aurigemma and Jeff Balinski will sit down and discuss what happened in the previous night’s episode of The Real World: St. Thomas.
For other episodes discussions check our pop culture page.
Jeff Balinski:In last night’s episode of The Real World we saw the prank war (if you can call it that) escalate, Swift remembering his first beer, and probably one of the most big-headed fights in the history of the show. The weird thing about this episode is that it seems to cover the events that happened in over little more than a day. I’m not sure we’ve seen that before. Not much happened, but we got some good moments.
It’s kind of obvious what the producers are doing in these first few shows. They’re setting up the dynamics of the house and introducing us to the characters one by one by featuring each pairing in their own episode. Episode one was all about Brandon, two was Laura and Trey, three was Marie and Robb, and now we get Brandon and La Toya in the spotlight. The thing I didn’t notice in the first two episodes is how anyone who is not remotely involved in the main focus of the episode barely appears.
Let me start by clarifying that its less of a “Prank War” and more of a “Marie Fucks With People In the House and Nobody Does Anything About It”.
Let’s run through the events in order:
-Robb and co. put all the peanut butter in the house (still in the jar) in Marie’s bed and write all over her in pen. This is cool at maybe a 6th grade sleepover.
-Marie puts peanut butter (out of the jar) all over Robb in the gazebo.
-Marie puts a huge dead fish in Swift and Robb’s bathroom. (I want to add that I wish it wasn’t Laura who left the shit in the first episode, because if it was Marie then I’d crown her queen of the house right now).
I’ve got to give Marie credit. She is dedicated to the prank. With quotes like “I’m not gonna NOT do it” and “I’m wearing gloves. I’m safe”, along with dry-heaving up a lung to get the fish in the tub, how can you not show her some respect. Swift’s face when he wakes up to the smell of the fish I imagine is the same exact face Brian May woke up with sophomore year after Greenberg would entertain a certain lady the night before. Somehow Marie is able to convince everyone that Laura did it, and Swift and Robb clean the whole thing up. This leads to Swift stepping on a sea urchin and thus leading us into the hilarious and also frustrating second half of this episode.
Let me hear your thoughts so far and lead us into what happens in the rest of the episode.
Mike Aurigemma: I have to say that I am hoping now that they have had these set-up episodes that the real stuff will get going next week.
I feel like prank wars are always pretty dumb on shows like this, but when thinking about the fact that they cannot watch TV or really do much else they need to entertain themselves somehow and this always seems to be a go to in each season. Marie definitely deserves credit for the way she has been handling these pranks. I am not sure if her pranks have been great, but the way she has acted afterwards especially the fish one was just marvellous.
The Swift and La Toya situation was pretty frustrating to watch because you could tell that they both wanted to end the fighting, but neither one would be the bigger man. I think that Robb did a great job describing how they were two prideful people and that continued to get in the way. The way Swift was was truly a joy to watch as the rum started to kick in and brought back memories of the prime of my years in college. Him being that drunk in the doctor’s office was priceless and did bring some fun to this season that to me has been lacking some punch. I still think we need some more drunken stupidity from this cast. That always leads to some more drama in the house and some really really sloppy nights.
One thing I keep going back to is Brandon and how he is really just lost with everyone else on this show. I cannot remember a season where there have been so many couples like this and then one person just being so lonely. Eventually this will take a toll on him and he will implode. When and how do you see that happening?
JB: Let me just sum up the Swift/La Toya situation real quick. Swift and Robb bitch out and go to return the giant fish to the ocean. In doing so Swift gets into the water and steps on a sea urchin. In an attempt to push the fish further in, La Toya uses the oar, but instead screws up Swifts foot further (by accident). They scream at each other. Here’s the gist of the arguments:
Argument 1: Immediately after La Toya hurts Swift’s foot
Swift: Why’d you hit my foot when I was asking for help?
LT: Incoherent yelling and storming off
Argument 2: On the way to see the doctor (Swift is now hammered btw)
Swift: Bitch, you were wrong. Look at my foot.
LT: I didn’t know how bad it was.
Swift: You should’ve said that an hour ago.
Argument 3: In the bed after the doctor (Swift still drunk)
LT: I was wrong but I’m not going to admit it.
Swift: You should’ve said that an hour ago.
LT: I was right.
Swift: I was right. Also, I’m not yelling.
LT: I’m done.
Basically neither of them can admit they were wrong, say I’m sorry, or forgive the other and let it go. Which leads me to believe that they are completely in love with each other and they just don’t know it yet. The point is, this is a dumb argument that just creates drama that doesn’t need to be there. Marie and Robb are the voices of reason in the house and gave the best advice they could to just let it go but obviously both of them are too proud to do that.
The best part of this episode was Swift becoming visibly intoxicated for the first time on the show. Every time we see him out he is usually too busy playing hookup coach with Brandon to get wasted. Nothing is better than a black out trip to Dr. Brillo’s office. Drunk Swift (or as I lovingly refer to him- Tokyo Drift) makes this episode. The collected and calculated persona that he usually presents goes right out the window. The “I love you but I hate you at the same time” and “I’m going to be honest with you, I have been drinking” are things that can definitely be overheard at your favorite college dorm. Having arguments with/hitting on the receptionists while dropping your business major background while dropping words like “Subrogation” (correctly, might I add), make Tokyo Drift the man of the hour.
As for when Brandon is going to break down, the previews for next week look pretty promising. I honestly care so little about the dynamics in the house. Some of the best parts of The Real World are when they interact with the locals. Mainly, when they bring them back to the house. While there technically has been a lot of action on the show, we haven’t seen these people show off their “game” yet. I hope Trey and Laura stop what they’re doing. They’re like watching kids at summer camp, nothing but dumb conversations and cartwheels.
MA: I completely agree that the locals definitely do help add some drama to this show. Not only is it a different person entering the show and throwing off the dynamics, but it usually causes a lot of fighting in the house. If Swift, Trey or Robb bring a girl home all hell could break loose on the show and I think if one of the girls bring a guy home then it could really unleash either Trey, Robb or Swift to step up their game. Now that we have set-up the dynamics of the cast and who gets along with who, I really think this is what is coming next for us.
Brandon definitely looks like he is ready to implode next week, but I have learned over time to not get really excited with previews for the coming week as it is always a let down. Brandon kind of could play that Adam role from a couple of seasons ago where he just goes bananas while being drunk and causes mayhem in the house. The difference is that Brandon actually seems like a nicer guy so I have a feeling the rest of the cast will not be so hard on him.
You did bring up a good point about having someone step up their game with the locals which I am hoping for as well. I just do not think that it is going to be one of the guys who does it and I can envision it being Marie. She seems like the real deal and I know you would like to think people from Staten Island have a ton of game.
JB: People from Staten Island DO have a ton of game. Also, we are running the reality show circuit right now. Real World, Big Brother, Mob Wives, Big Ang, Jersey Shore, and about every other episode of Bridezillas have someone from Staten Island on the show. What more could you ask for?
I hope we’ll finally get to find out where these people are going to work. I’m going to suggest another option; Party Boat Captains. Let’s face it. Marie was born for this job. She is the best alcohol salesperson ever. Going on a long flight? Bring some booze. Stepped on a sea urchin? Put some rum on it.
Like I said before I really am desperate for a random hookup by one of the housemates. We need more partying. More drinking. More Tokyo Drifting. These people just need to leave the house and have a good time. Sometimes you have to go out to get it in.
MA: Spoken like a true Staten Islander right there. Just have to go out and get it in. And I am not sure it is a great thing that you are from the area that is running reality TV at the moment.
Next week there will be some Brandon issues for sure, but I think we will start to see one of the relationships start to break down in next weeks episode. Maybe I am just hoping for that at this point.
If Marie is out there driving around boats, I will make a deal that we will go ahead and take a trip to St. Thomas. Okay? Deal.