Real World: St. Thomas, Episode 5 Discussion

In what will become a weekly edition to TheWavierWire, Mike Aurigemma and Jeff Balinski will sit down and discuss what happened in the previous night’s episode of The Real World: St. Thomas.

For other episodes discussions check our pop culture page. Co-writer Mike Aurigemma decided to do something ballsy this week, and take a summer cruise vacation. The nerve. In his place, we have found another Marist College grad with a minor in MTV Culture, Mike DiMare. Thought we’d at least keep the first names similar so nobody got too confused at home…

Jeff Balinski: This week on the Real World, I felt the season picked up a bit and show what it could potentially be. I had brought up in my latest recap about how each of the first four episodes focused on a different quadrant of the house (Brandon, Trey and Laura, Marie and Robb, and Swift and Latoya). This week’s episode was the first that really felt evenly balanced among the group. It was the first time that I really felt like everyone was hanging out and having a good time. To be honest, it’s almost as enjoyable to watch these people have a great time together as it is to see them have an awful time together. In fact, it probably makes much better television to see their relationships fall apart after seeing how close they used to be.

The highlight of this episode was definitely Brandon getting “stood up”. We also saw the roommates get their job, La Toya get her comeuppance, and Trey become the mom of the house.

Let’s save the best for last and start with their jobs. Me and Boston had been trying to guess where these people were going to be employed. I thought for sure it was going to be some sort of tour guide on the island, or booze cruise captains. Turns out I was wrong. This year they will all be working at an Aquarium. I should’ve known it would have been something that they could get money for putting on the show. Last year in San Diego they all worked at the House of Blues, and this year continues the trend of all the roommates having different positions at the same place. Three of them work with the sea lion, two others are diving, and the other two are doing something I can’t remember. It’s not important.

What is important, is that these 7 people are THE WORST at interviews. They’re like the guy in the ITT Tech commercial who when asked what he likes most about going to ITT Tech, says “I like everything about going to ITT Tech”. Future business people take note, this is probably the worst answer you can give. It tells them nothing about yourself. Now, what does tell your interviewer about you is your attire. Trey knows that the best way to get the position you want is to dress to impress. Unfortunately, he also thinks that pirate hats are impressive. This is just more evidence that Trey and Laura are actually children at a sleep-away camp and not twenty-somethings on The Real World. Note: Laura has done a cartwheel or flip in every episode so far. Just saying.

Mike DiMare: I’ll add this to my comment, Laura is nice to look at, when she wants to be…better?

Thinking back, I agree with you about the first four episodes but to be honest I didn’t even pay attention to it, I guess I’m just used to how MTV produces these things at this point; same script different people (and yet I watch it every year week in and week out). I am very interested to see how their relationships develop, if you follow the “what’s to come” video reel the house is just a ticking time bomb and everyone is going to end up stabbing one another in the back, but I’ve learned not to trust those clips anymore.

I love a good mental breakdown as much as the next guy but I’ve already had my fill of Brandon’s drunken antics so his meltdown isn’t as high up on my list. My favorite part of this weeks episode, hands down, was Swift’s interview. Like you said they all were very very bad but his was just awful. He could not have had an easier question to answer, “What is your history with public speaking” he should have hit that out of the park. He was a business major, his mother is a lawyer and he acts like Rico Suave. Instead he stumbled through it like Bambi trying to walk for the first time. It was so funny, it was almost sad to watch. He did a better job talking to the nurses in last week’s episode when he was drunk than he did on this weeks dead sober! Moving on to Trey I have no problem with him wearing the pirate hate I mean who wouldn’t want to wear that thing it’s pretty bad ass, my issue with his interview was that he threw the rest of the house under the bus by basically calling them drunks. That’s messed up, I understand you want the best job but this isn’t Wall Street. Besides, with the amount of publicity the place is getting for this I don’t think they’ll mind if they come in to work a little hungover occasionally.

Now getting to your favorite part Brandon getting stood up. I knew this was gonna happen from the start not because of the previews but you could tell in Alyssa’s voice that she had NO intention of coming over especially when he said he was really hoping to see her and her response was silence followed by “What?” As I said earlier, I’m over this kid already, his I’m not muscular or athletic cry me a river act is played out after 4 episodes. He needs some new material which is why I’m glad he’s trying to get sober, now he makes room for Robb to step in as the drunk with problems and he, from what they showed, seems WAY more entertaining.

What do you expect from Robb? Is it going to be a long running problem or just an episode where Marie brings someone back? Also how do you see the Trey, Laura, girl from home love triangle playing out?

Finally I like your note about Laura and her cartwheels, I think we should keep a running total of how many they show her do throughout the season. Maybe this is a sign that I watch too much TV specifically MTV shows, but have you noticed that Lee and little Lee as he’s affectionately called wear Young and Reckless clothing, basically all the time, which is Drama, Rob Dyrdek’s cousin’s clothing line? MTV has to make them wear it right? There’s no way it’s a coincidence. Also most of the guys have those flex watches that Nate from San Diego was pushing last season, those may actually be genuine and not MTV fueled though.

JB: You’re dead on about Swift. If you can’t properly articulate yourself when listing your public speaking experience in front of two people, you’ve probably failed the public speaking test. By the way, does being the son of a lawyer make you a good public speaker? It’s like in sports when people in sports get hyped over a prospect because he’s someone’s son or brother. I definitely wouldn’t want my doctors only credentials to be “well, my dad was a doctor”.

Trey has no reason to throw anyone under the bus. This is a purely dick move. Does he realize that this is just a placement interview and that they are all getting jobs? It’s not a competition. We all know you think you’re better than everyone else. You don’t have to go telling everyone you meet.

The Brandon getting stood up part of the episode is amazing. You can see this coming from a mile away. I don’t know why he doesn’t. The thing is, I can’t tell if Alyssa (not sure if we mentioned this girl’s name yet) is doing it maliciously. Basically it comes down to Brandon being an idiot and just misreading all of the signals that Alyssa is sending him. She dances and talks to him at the club. Fine. This happens all the time. She’s probably not interested in anything but getting free drinks and feeling pretty. He takes this as “this girl really likes me, I’m going to make her mine”. He does this enough that he asks her to “do him the honor” of spending the rest of her time in St. Thomas with him. She is hammered when he asks her and only seems to understand every fourth word he is saying. At this point she has done nothing wrong to lead him on (at least from the conversation we hear) and it’s all him blowing the situation into something it isn’t. Fast forward to this week’s episode where Alyssa calls the house to see what Brandon is up to tonight. This is a blatant backup plan for Alyssa. She’s just making sure she at least has something to do tonight, so if everything else falls through, she can still have Brandon to tease. This is a fucked up thing to do, but at 20 year old guy should understand what’s going on. But for some reason, Brandon thinks the world of Alyssa (and apparently every girl that acknowledges his existence). Let’s not forget that it was just 3 weeks ago that he was head over heels for Laura. I guess he saw her without makeup on and changed his mind. Luckily Swift is there to be the voice of reason and bring up that Brandon might have a problem and has flipped out about 3 different girls over a short period of time. The latest coming from a nice drunk dial/hulk smashing rage through the house.

Everyone else in the house had a somewhat mellow episode. Marie is amazing and her highlight is when Brandon is at his lowest point, binge drinking, barely shotgunning a beer and subsequently doubled over in the sink. Marie can’t help but comment that he just wasted half a beer. Love it. Marie’s solution to every problem she faces is alcohol. Or peanut butter.

The previews for the rest of the season look amazing. But they are always deceptive. Last week’s preview made this week look like Brandon was going to have a major meltdown, but it turned out to be a pretty average one for him. Though, this Marie/Robb situation looks like it’s really going to get out of hand. I don’t know what to expect from Robb, but based on the cigarette burns, I’d say he has a better chance of leaving the show than Brandon does.  Also, based on the preview it seems like Swift and La Toya do hook up, but she disputes it. This can lead to a real problem between the two of them who just can t let anything go.

I honestly don’t care too much about Trey and Laura, so I really hope the girl from home just destroys their relationship. I’m sure Laura will find a way to impress another guy with her cartwheels. Maybe even Remo, the sea lion from the aquarium.

I did notice the watches in this episode, but I did not pick up on the clothing, mostly because I never paid much attention to Drama when I was watching Rob and Big. This is definitely the work of MTV, as well as great detective work by you.

What do you think is going to happen to the cast in the upcoming weeks of the show?

MD: Well it’s like what John C. Reilly thinks in Step Brothers about being a Doctor, it’s all about who you know haha. But seriously, it shouldn’t make him a good public speaker but it certainly can’t hurt having an educated well articulate parent he definitely could have done better than what was shown. This week was just another example of Marie proving that she deserves to be our favorite in the house even though the peanut butter prank was Robb’s idea. Speaking of Robb I don’t think he will get the boot from the show as I don’t think this is going to be a long lasting problem with him and by that I mean no longer than two episodes since MTV likes to drag this stuff out. Also can I backtrack a bit to when Robb absolutely DESTROYED the telephone by bashing it over his head a couple of episodes ago. How was nothing ever said about this on the show? They just moved along like their phone was always in a thousand pieces and just replaced it with a new one. The joys of television I guess.

In regards to Drama you didn’t miss much as the clothing line came out in Fantasy Factory not Rob and Big anyway I digress. In the coming episodes I expect the La Toya/Swift hook up to happen right around the time of the chicken in the bed prank they show in the previews because I think they’re still on good terms then. I don’t think he’d be pranking her if she wanted to kill him. I hope Laura turns her flirty ways onto another guy outside of the house just to add some excitement between her and Trey because right now they are a snooze fest.  As far as Marie goes I expect nothing but excellence from her whether it be pranks or getting hammered just because I feel she is going to continue to do Staten Island proud. By the way I’m insanely excited to see her white girl wasted dancing like a fool as it’s always a good time, I’ve been there myself.

JB: AAAAND on that note I guess that does it this week. It was a pleasure having you join me, and I’m sure you’ll be back in the near future to make the most of this somewhat lackluster season. Thanks for filling in.

MD: No problem glad to help out. I’ll def do it anytime you need me especially once The Challenge starts

GK: Editor’s note: Boston and I may have to expand our coverage of The Challenge to include you guys. So, you have that too maybe possibly look forward to.